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I figured that was just normal for any young boy, with a girlfriend he loved, and who he was physically intimate with. Sex leads to thoughts of permanence, At least, it always had with me. I'd thought of marriage because I had loved all of them like that, at one time or another. Now, I loved Joyce like that, and we were, in actual fact, married.I was definitely planning on making Brenda pregnant. I knew, from Joyce's pregnancy, that having a baby with someone, drew you much closer to them. No matter what might happen later, having a baby in common, would ensure this permanent bond. How could it not? The idea that Brenda considered herself to already be my wife, made me feel better about what I'd promised Mama. My thoughts were interrupted by Emily returning."Joyce is feeding the twins now. Brenda says I'm to tell you we're eating in half an hour. Let me tell you what I've been thinking about, Kenny. It's different than what the other X's think and feel. I love you, and I love Brenda.. Your eyes are dark and they understand quickly. I assume they’re brown but I couldn’t be sure. It wasn’t their colour that made them special but the glint in them, the depth and the naughtiness that you can’t hide. Above all it’s the truth that I see, the real undeniable truth, the kind that reveals itself in the dark of night when it’s all there is.Your smile is one of those that surprises me each time I’m lucky enough to see it, it’s accompanied by laughter lines, drawn there by your happy soul.Your skin is warm and it’s all I can say.I dreamt about you last night, you were put there I suspect by me to give me an ideal, but I was never an idealist, I’d have settled before.“Close you eyes.” You say and I’m struggling to keep them closed, a big smile has crept onto my face and it won’t be hidden, not by me.What smile is complete though without smiling eyes.“What exactly am I waiting for?” I ask you as I stand there in the kitchen wrapped in a soft white towel with my hair dripping.
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